Sugar Plum Fairy

Today's weather was gloomy and miserable. I didn't know what I was doing. I woke up in the morning and felt silly. I just wanted to leave that place immediately 'cause i felt so embarrassed.

Fortunately, i got to hold little Stela in my arms. She was a bit naughty - She wouldn't sleep after breast feeding. She kept punching and kicking the air with her little arms and legs. Her mum needed to concentrate on her assignment and didn't know what to do to stop her crying. So, i got little Stela out of her baby swinging bed and let her lean over my scarf on my chest.

She was quite irritable like a unhappy rabbit at first. I shook and patted her in my arms, singing some random melodies that I could possibly think of. She finally closed her eyes and slipped into her dreams.

I hold Stela for a bit longer. She was so adorable, like an angel. I felt really good while holding her, though I was still revolved in grief stage. I didn't know how long would the grief stage be but, at least when I was holding her, my pituitary gland processed a wee bit more endorphin.

Thank you, Stela. You're a sugar plum fairy. You will be a good girl when you grow up.

我突发奇想

二十岁跟二十五岁在一起差五年不稀奇。但是同样相差五年，换个不同的年龄层——

中学： 初一和高三谈恋爱
小学： 一年级和六年级说“我喜欢你”

就显得很奇怪。很奇怪。好像差很远。

To Big C

I wanted to say 'I wish you didn't have OCD.'
Instead, I say 'You will get well soon.'
Of course you will, big C.
And I know you can achieve any accomplishment you want to achieve.
You can do anything you want to do.
You're just astonishing when you say 'I'm getting better.'
Like I have a real gooey/butter lies in my stomach feeling when I'm looking at you.
I give you all my healing power.

There is forever

好几个朋友都有这个经验——当真的很爱、很爱的时候，就真的会认为这就是永远。老实说，我有一点怕这种感觉。

有一个结过两次婚而现在单身的同事告诉我，当她第一次结婚的时候，'I thought it was FOREVER.'

'But now, i end up with nothing.'她用柔和又带点悲伤的眼神看着我。

我惊讶得说不出话。

'nah, i still have my job!'她又打起她的招牌微笑。

又，一同志朋友跟他的男友同居。一天我在他们家hangout，他在我和他男友面前告白：

'I seriously think that this will be forever. I know life is not a fairy tale but this is what im thinking at the moment.'

男友没有说话。男友大他十一二岁。也许他想的跟我一样多——话不要说的那么早。最后只有失望。

然而，把想法说出来是好事。人间就是需要一些美好的向往。

我也希望能够找到我的永远。

@Adrian's Party House!

下班后我就下市中心去选购Ad和Ry的house-warming prezzy，早在他们搬家之前就指定要吃Ad的独家mash potato，总不能两手空空去别人的家！

我想给他们买香喷喷的蜡烛和烛杯，我自己本身非常喜欢在房间烧香香的东西，这些都是跟我妈妈学来的。可我现在住的地方有fire alarm，我不想闹得fireman 和 firetruck来。

Ry的礼物怎么可以送普通商场的货色，托Ry大人的福我最近跑Myers的次数越来越多。可是我上上下下晶莹剔透的玻璃电梯好几趟都找不到我脑子里想像的东西，随便问一个女店员她说也许在Rundle Mall 一间好像叫Dusk 卖手工香皂的店有蜡烛销售。出到Rundle Mall发现原来那间店叫Lush，也许我听不明那个中国女店员的英文口音。Lush里戴着鼻环眉环还有很多个耳环的红唇麻辣美女店员说他们没卖蜡烛，但是她告诉我她个人很喜欢到CityCross里的FireFlies买蜡烛，They sell beautiful stuff over there.

于是乎我找到了FireFlies，买到的成品与我的想象接近得简直像是直接从我脑袋抓出来的。红色的Honey & Berry 小蜡烛与黑色花纹的玻璃杯，两者简直是绝配。

下午六点鸟生与女朋友伊凡卡来载我和麻粒。鸟生做了Gelato，伊凡卡炖了鸡汤，满车是香，可谓香车美人lol。我没有洗手做羹汤可是至少我有一盒ferraro rocher!! 有谁的比我的好吃！

前菜是伊凡卡的鸡汤，主菜是Ad的roasted chicken+mash potato（必备！！），甜点是鸟生的绿茶gelato。我的ferraro rocher 就乖乖待在冰箱里吧，因为我们的胃挤不出一立方公分了。T____T

Ad只要一转身到厨房去忙，我们这些黄种人就ching-chang-chong讲起中文来。可怜的Ad听得一头雾水，又拿我们没办法。于是乎只要我们讲一句华语Ad就twist Ry的nipples一下， 我们却越讲越兴奋，因为有谁不喜欢看别人被作弄啊！（或者说，有谁不喜欢看别人调情啊！XD

小屋里的氛围与温度氤氲，温馨得像一家人。我拿出相机想要定格每一刻幸福快乐，可是Ad大叫'you keep that thing behind ya away!!' 于是乎一张照片都没有 =(

茶余饭饱之后我们就窝在沙发里看Ry租的电影。下一次movie night绝对不再让Ry去租dvd了，整套电影就是怪兽和人类杀来杀去，看得Ad都睡着了。我们虽然有应景一下你喊我也喊，到最后都忘了为什么我们在喊，只记得那个脑浆看起来很像鸟生的Gelato。

Ry很喜欢我和麻粒合资送的礼物，嘴巴一直念着“这一定很贵吧？”（其实也不会，在价钱这方面我有些许运气）如果他不喜欢我真的要把他做成gelato，我跑了很多地方耶！

我把蜡烛点起来放在他们的卧室，让他们今晚有个香喷喷的美梦。